Climb Up and Lay Down
By: Scott Tolhurst
If I volunteer at the local Food Bank, I give of my time and energy. If I make a donation to the Cancer Society, I offer a portion of my wealth. When I babysit my grandkids, I present my heart. Over and over again, we extend aspects of our lives to the urgencies around us. A friend may need your ear. A neighbour requires your hand. A student may appreciate your voice. We are accustomed to doling out fragments of our lives. We give what we can, but usually hold something in reserve. After all, we have obligations to ourselves as well. If I expend everything, I am left with nothing. So, it is stunning to read the apostle Paul’s command to, “Present your bodies as a living sacrifice...” The sacrifice in mind is not a partial granting for a short span. It is the image of us crawling upon an altar and laying all we are and have before God. It is an image of death. If that seems extreme, Pauls speaks of it as reasonable worship. Instantly we agree. It is reasonable to give our all for the One who gave His all. We consent to the truth and then....withdraw our compliance.
Four hundred years ago, Francis Fenelon described our response this way. “We want to die, but to die without any pain and in full health. We want to be tested but only while looking on with conscious superiority to the trial. It is a saying of the old lawyers with respect to donations; You cannot both give and keep.” It is not possible to give ourselves and then keep ourselves, at the same time. But we try. We offer God certain times of the week or day - a Sunday or morning devotions. The rest of the schedule is ours. We offer God our service, but confine it to our convenience. We tithe and breathe a sigh of relief that 90% is still at our discretion. We obey when it makes sense to us. We worship when our hearts are warm. In all of this, our sacrifice is undone.
The blockage to total surrender is not our capacity to do it. It is fear. We cling to pieces of our lives to preserve ourselves. We fear that if we gave everything, we would have nothing left. We neglect two truths. First, the life we are so bent on saving, is not salvageable. The gospel doesn’t preserve our lives as they are. It transforms life into something only Jesus can give. Second, Jesus gives life without shortchanging anyone. Everyone who gives to Jesus finds more in return, never less.
As to our capacity to live as a complete sacrifice, yes, it is hard. It can’t be done once, but we climb onto the altar daily. How? Just say, “Yes.” As Fenelon writes “We must give all or nothing when God asks it. If we do not have the courage to give, at least we can let Him take.”